I Hate 'Cute'
by TheToxicInterest
Summary: Kane hates it when he has to watch Brie Bella move in on what's his. Not that there's anything he can do, aside from complain about it to Daniel Bryan afterwards. Kaniel. Sort of anti-BriexBryan. (I wrote this a long time ago, even though I'm just now posting it.)


**By the time I'd written this fic, I had never seen an episode of **_**Total Divas**_** and Brie and Bryan WEREN'T married yet.**** However, one of my friends watched the show and ended up giving me an idea. For the record, I'm a big fan of Kaniel and I can't **_**stand**_** BriexBryan.**

**Pairing: Kaniel, Fake!BriexBryan**

**WARNINGS: Language, slash**

**Disclaimer: I don't own WWE, Total Divas, or anything that you recognize.**

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><p>They kiss gently, smiling awkwardly at one another. He mutters something that makes her giggle, and another swift peck is exchanged, forced and rushed. Her too-red lipstick rubs off on his mouth, but he doesn't notice.<p>

The camera man calls 'cut'.

"Bryan, can you do your last line again a little louder?" he asks, and the wrestler nods, turning back to his "girlfriend" with a smile. They make me want to vomit all over the floor.

There's a count down, and Bryan repeats the disgusting words: "I've never been happier."

Brie is supposed to giggle, but it's just too awkward, and she finds herself looking off at the ceiling instead. 'Cut' is called once more, wrapping up the day's recording for _Total Divas_. Bryan jumps away from Brie, shaking her hand. They exchange the usual polite goodbyes, and head off in seperate directions- Brie to her sister and Bryan to me.

"How'd I do?" he asks me.

"I wanted to rip your lying tongue out and shove it down your throat."

He laughs- anyone else would have cowered. "So I was convincing?"

I shrug, and we walk out of the Bella twins' hotel room, heading off towards ours. "This show is stupid."

"Meh. It's fine with me," he says.

"You've been pretending to be dating her for a year. You're used to it, the other guys aren't."

Bryan rolls his eyes. "God, babe, it's just acting! No one's gonna take it seriously."

I almost flinch as I stop in my tracks. He turns to me with a slight frown, wondering once again what my problem is.

"First of all, don't call me 'babe'."

He gives me an innocent look. "Why, babe?"

I sigh. I'm not used to being challeneged, but unlike most people, Bryan loves to push my buttons. Is that bravery or stupidity?

Shaking my head, I elaborate, "The entire point of _Total Divas_ is to make little girls want to be Divas. Right?"

"Right."

"That's the problem. The show is using your popularity to gain fans for the damn Divas, most of which need to be lined up and slaughtered like the idiotic sheep they are."

"They're people, not sheep... And some people think Brie and I make a cute couple."

"I see no difference between people and sheep," I say bluntly. "And I hate cute couples."

He groans, asking me to "cut the demon shit", but I refuse to lie for once in my life. We turn a corner, now in the hallway of our hotel room. We pass by John Cena as he flirts with one of the newer Total Divas, not even saying a hello to the two. Our voices drop so they can't intrude on our conversation.

"So what if parts are staged? So is most reality TV." He chuckles a little and adds, "You're just mad that I'm kissing someone else."

I stop suddenly, turning to glare down at him. His smirk falters, and I stare angrily into his frightened blue eyes. Finally, a reaction I'm used to...

"Don't claim to know how I feel," I growl.

He snaps out of it, almost. "Don't get so pissy. Brie's a good friend, and you know that I only want you."

I shudder, feeling a bit sick from the sweetness of that statement. It's true, which makes it all the more assuring, and all the more disgusting. Love has always been a double-edged sword to me.

We come to our door, and I gladly unlock it, throwing it open. Bryan and I step inside, and I stare at him as he shuts the door. He's a pale thing, so very small compared to me, though most people are. He's friendly, an art I'll never master, and most of the locker room likes him. We are nothing alike.

But his ferocious temper is something that tends to consume him. He's passionate about everything, but terrified to let anyone close to him. He's felt the thrill of causing pain in others, something that initiated my attraction to him. So in some respects, we are exactly alike.

Only a genius can unravel his riddles, only a demon can understand how he feels. Only a maniac would dare trying to deal with him. I guess I fit the bill.

He questions why I'm staring at him. "Brie could never handle you."

"What?"

I lean down slowly, laying an awkward peck on his cheek. "Wipe that goddamn lipstick off."

He chuckles, wiping her away with the back of his sleeve. Maybe he was right about the reason for my anger... But I'm not going to tell him that.

"This reality show is unfair to the other wrestlers."

"You don't care about the others, you big evil brute." He stands on his toes, lays a peck on my lips.

"Don't be cute, you know I hate cute."

"Well I hate ugly, and I love you."

Another shudder up my spine. "Stop that."

"Does it bother you?"

"Hell yes! So will you stop?"

"No! No! N-"

I shut him up with another kiss.


End file.
